Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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