just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
