plz talk dirty to me
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
