once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
