Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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