whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
