WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
