Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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