Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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