I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
