There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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