and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It's not a walk of shame if you run
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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