Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
