1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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