Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
