So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
