What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
