i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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