I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
