operation harelip BJ is a go
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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