: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
