I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
