love makes seman taste better
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You took a bar mat shot.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
