The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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