Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
