just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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