she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
