i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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