Your favorite bartender is back from prision
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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