so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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