don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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