OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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