How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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