You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
