so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
