super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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