he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
