I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
