oh god the rape fog is back!
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
