after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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