You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
