i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
