I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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