I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
