How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
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thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
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This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
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