Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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