Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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