In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
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Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
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Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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