I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
