I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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