Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
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He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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