An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
