i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
