Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
