I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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