What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
