My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Randomize