I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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