Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
