Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
