well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
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His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
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You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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