tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
