this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
