I'd wear matching sweaters with you
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
