when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize