I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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